1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,905 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,176 NARRATOR: The scorching sun, the scalding sands. 3 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,977 In their pursuit of Death Adder, our heroes seek permission 4 00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:14,315 to cross this wasteland from the elusive desert sage. 5 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,284 Oh, wait, shut up, shut up, shut up! There she is. 6 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,252 The desert holds many dangers. 7 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,654 They really need the sage's blessing. 8 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,156 But don't worry. This should be an easy yes, 9 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,893 based on Gilius' reputation. 10 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,695 And... 11 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,697 What? It's a freaking no? 12 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,399 I did not see that coming. 13 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,801 I'm really trying to be professional here, 14 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,936 but oh, boy! 15 00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,739 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,842 This is Gilius freaking Thunderhead we're talking about. 17 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,510 Alice has gone crazy. 18 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,846 Uh, the sage's name is Alice, by the way. 19 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,681 HAMPTON: Well, that was disappointing. 20 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,851 I didn't even get to have one of those desert hallucinations 21 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,486 where you're so hungry that you look at your friend 22 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,020 and they turn into a big cooked turkey. 23 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,355 You don't have to be starving 24 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,524 to picture someone as a turkey, 25 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,991 you can do that whenever you want. 26 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,060 [gasps] I can? 27 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,497 - [giggles] He likes soup. - GILIUS: Oi! 28 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,833 Would you two stop picturing old men as turkeys? 29 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,368 We need to figure out a way to cross the desert 30 00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,770 so we can get to Death Adder. 31 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,872 [groans] What is that sage's problem? 32 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,375 She thinks she's better than me just because she's got a camel? 33 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,211 Oh! It's a great camel. I'd love to pet it. 34 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,347 What do you have to do to get a blessing out of her? 35 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,582 I defeated Death Adder, you're the chosen one, and Druda... 36 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,385 Wha-- Drud-- What-what do you do, Druda? 37 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,220 I don't really know since I left Death Adder, 38 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,356 but here's the beautiful thing: 39 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,889 that's what I'm trying to figure out. 40 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,192 We could brainstorm. 41 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,927 Perhaps you could invent a new type of pantaloons. 42 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,197 Ones that are tight enough to flatter your key areas... 43 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,798 But not so tight that they get... 44 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,301 BOTH: ...wedged up in those very same areas! 45 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,569 Aren't you supposed to be Hampton's bully? 46 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,072 Ew, Gilius! I'm not a bully anymore. 47 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,374 I'm mature now. 48 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,408 [mocking] "Eh, aren't you supposed to be a bully? 49 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,778 Drink, drink, my breath stinks." 50 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,046 - MAN: Oh, my Gods! - MAN 2: Thaxton! 51 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,415 - MAN 3: I can't believe it! - [people clamoring] 52 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,115 Aw, thank you, Kesterton. 53 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:59,252 The best fans in all of Yuria. [chuckles] Best looking, too. 54 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,589 Well, don't want to hear this. We should get out of here. 55 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,557 What are you talking about? I love bards. 56 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,759 Singing songs and spreading tales across the land 57 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,797 like a tale-spreading machine. 58 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,765 Ugh, I hate music. 59 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,601 Never trusted anything that stirs the soul. 60 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,903 I'll stir my own soul, thank you very much. 61 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:19,273 ♪ Well, things are bad in Yuria ♪ 62 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:22,743 ♪ It feels like our lives are cursed ♪ 63 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:23,777 [crowd gasps] 64 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,279 ♪ Death Adder was dead ♪ 65 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,015 ♪ Oh, no, that's been reversed ♪ 66 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,949 ♪ But, of course, there's still hope ♪ 67 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,118 ♪ As this has ♪ 68 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,120 ♪ Happened once before ♪ 69 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,656 ♪ This tale, I'll repeat ♪ 70 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,627 ♪ Is of Death Adder's defeat, yeah ♪ 71 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,862 ♪ By three heroes ♪ 72 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:45,599 ♪ We now adore ♪ 73 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,601 Three heroes? That's you, Ax, and Tyris. 74 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,303 He's singing about you! 75 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,971 - [crowd cheering, whistling] - Ow! 76 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,474 [crowd laughing, whooping] 77 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,944 [whoops] * It was a spooky, cold night with a moon so bright ♪ 78 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,613 ♪ And Death Adder thought he'd kick back and relax ♪ 79 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,315 ♪ Someone kicked down his door ♪ 80 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,951 ♪ And raised their sword ♪ 81 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,487 ♪ It was the battler known as Ax ♪ 82 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,390 ♪ It was the battler known as Ax ♪ 83 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,859 ♪ But Ax was no match for Death Adder's wrath ♪ 84 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,695 ♪ It seemed like he didn't have a prayer ♪ 85 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,664 ♪ But just right then he was joined by a friend ♪ 86 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,799 ♪ Mighty amazon Tyris Flare ♪ 87 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:23,103 ♪ Mighty amazon Tyris Flare, ah ♪ 88 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,607 ♪ But in the 11th hour ♪ 89 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,808 ♪ They succumbed ♪ 90 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:28,842 ♪ To Death Adder's power ♪ 91 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,511 ♪ And they thought ♪ 92 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,581 ♪ "Certainly, he will be killing us" ♪ 93 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,683 Killing us? That rhymes with Gilius! 94 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:36,650 He's good. 95 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,319 ♪ But then they remembered ♪ 96 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,521 ♪ Their party had a third member ♪ 97 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:45,192 ♪ A little guy named... ♪ 98 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,128 ♪ Courage ♪ 99 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,664 - ♪ Ax, Tyris and courage... ♪ - He left you out of the song! 100 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,033 Meh. I've been left out of lots of songs. 101 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,603 You ever heard "The Ballad of the Duck and the Rat"? 102 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,571 I'm not in that one at all. 103 00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,707 ♪ There was no one else ♪ 104 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,876 ♪ They did it by themselves ♪ 105 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,545 - ♪ Ax ♪ - ♪ Ax ♪ 106 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,879 - ♪ Tyris ♪ - ♪ Tyris ♪ 107 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,449 ♪ And courage, yeah! ♪ 108 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,584 - Thank you! Thank you! - [cheering] 109 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,019 Aw, thank you. 110 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,254 [squeals] I know what I want to do with my life 111 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,889 or death or w-- undeath or whatever. 112 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,191 I'm gonna be a bard. 113 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,127 This could be why the sage turned us down-- 114 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,730 she hasn't heard of you. Let's talk to the bard. 115 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,131 He'll put you back in the song, 116 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,232 start playing it all across the land, 117 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,701 eventually, the sage will hear it-- 118 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,737 who knows how long that'll take, she does live in the desert-- 119 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,904 but when she does, she'll have heard of you 120 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,542 and then she'll let us cross the desert 121 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:37,878 and then we'll go straight to Death Adder! 122 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,647 Actually, um, 123 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,516 I was thinking we could go around the desert. 124 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,753 Right past this terrifying demon. 125 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,556 Gilius, why don't you want to talk to the bard? 126 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:52,259 Oh, now that I look closer, it kind of looks like he's smiling. 127 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,328 Gilius, what is going on? 128 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,564 We're not talking to the bard, just drop it. 129 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,065 Okay, I'll drop it. 130 00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,900 [quietly] Drop it right in my bag of things I won't drop. 131 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,768 - What's that? - [regular volume] Hm? Hmm? 132 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,671 NARRATOR: As Hampton says "hmm," 133 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,907 let's see what our other heroes are up to. 134 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,441 Hmm. 135 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,678 NARRATOR: He's sayin' it too? That's nuts. 136 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,446 AX: These are Chicken Leg's tracks. 137 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,781 - I'm mostly sure of it. - Then they'll lead to Gilius. 138 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,117 I'm low on magic. We should restock. 139 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,919 What we need is one of those little blue guys 140 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,621 that drop magic potions when we hit 'em. 141 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,155 Oh, do you think, Chronos? 142 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,824 Should we find the little blue guys? 143 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,326 - Tyris, go easy. - Do you hear this, Ax? 144 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,429 He's acting like there's some other way to acquire magic 145 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,932 - in Yuria-- - Anybody need some magic? 146 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,633 - Janzu! Right on time. - Whee! 147 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,436 [grunting] 148 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,809 Oh, no! 149 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,812 You got me right in my little heinie. 150 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,148 - I sure did, Janzu. - Ooh! 151 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,983 You know, every time we do that, I'm left wondering... 152 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,020 Hup! Does it seem like he kinda likes it? 153 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,788 CHRONOS: It's a tough gig. I think it's cool 154 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,490 he takes pride in it. 155 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,692 ♪ 156 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,998 [bottles clinking] 157 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,534 [sighs] 158 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:24,184 Papa! You're home! 159 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:25,819 - [giggles] - Did you battle 160 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,354 any huge monsters today? 161 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,857 Papa fought an ice troll. 162 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,559 Wow! 163 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,894 Oh, hm. Glad you're okay. 164 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,668 I saw a new log on my way home. 165 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,169 Oh, that's nice. 166 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,938 The children found your armor in the bushes today. 167 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,373 I covered for you. 168 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,510 But they're asking questions. Frizmo, especially. 169 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,445 He's getting too old to keep believing 170 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,213 you're some kind of warrior. 171 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,547 [sighs] 172 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,949 You need to tell him 173 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,218 before he figures it out for himself. 174 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,388 [sighs] 175 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,726 Hey, kids? Papa has something to tell you. 176 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,393 What is it, Dad? 177 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:10,430 I... I... 178 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,704 I just wanted to say that... 179 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,706 I love you both. 180 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,113 - [snores, grunts] - Gilius. Gilius, wake up. 181 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,648 Something terrible is happening! 182 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,550 [grumbles] 183 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,983 In the orphanage, 184 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,185 terrorizing those children. 185 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,386 - Help me. - Oh, save me. 186 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,655 - I'm scared. - HAMPTON: It's a dragon! 187 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,123 - DRUDA: I'm a dragon! - HAMPTON: And... 188 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,191 - Aah... - look who's over there. 189 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,593 If Thaxton sees you being heroic, 190 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,128 he'll have to write a song about you. 191 00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,496 All right, could... I could use a little room. 192 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,498 - I told you to drop it, Hampton. - And I did. 193 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,968 Into my bag of things I won't drop. 194 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,404 - Now go. - DRUDA: I eat orphans! 195 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,674 - This is a dumb idea! - Not as dumb 196 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:57,778 as going around the desert and fighting the demon. 197 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,681 [both gasp] 198 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,182 DRUDA: Fire! Fire! 199 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,618 - [screaming] - [screeching] 200 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,388 [all screaming] 201 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:16,163 Hello, Gilius. Been a long time. 202 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,197 Hello, Thaxton. 203 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,167 Whoa! You two know each other? 204 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,669 That is crazy. 205 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,103 I'm Druda, by the way. 206 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,172 I'm-I'm not always on fire. 207 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,041 But I could be if you like it. 208 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,509 HAMPTON: Come on Gilius, tell us 209 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,778 how you know Thaxton. 210 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,213 It was the day after Ax, Tyris, and I 211 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,848 defeated Death Adder. 212 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,216 Yurians came from far and wide 213 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,686 to celebrate our triumph over evil. 214 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,555 There was much adulation and light refreshments. 215 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:42,856 [burps] 216 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,357 Yuria's finest bards 217 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:45,892 came to serenade us. 218 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:49,395 Tyris' praises were sung by the great Jimble, 219 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,398 and Ax's by the esteemed Jonble. 220 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,902 - Who? - You know, the Ooshi brothers. 221 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,304 Jimble and Jonble. No? 222 00:08:57,404 --> 00:09:00,007 Am I really that old? They were a huge deal. 223 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,642 [sighs] Anyway, 224 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,576 Ax and Tyris got these legends of music 225 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,578 and who did they send me? 226 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,246 A little child. 227 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,414 So, apparently, this Thaxton kid had won 228 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:09,917 some junior barding championship 229 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,620 and singing to me was his grand prize. 230 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,823 Well, I wasn't too happy about it, but I gave him a shot. 231 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,457 ♪ Well, the-- ♪ 232 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,758 Give me that! 233 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,894 [mocking] Oh, look at me, everyone. 234 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,762 I'm a wee little bard. 235 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,999 My voice cracks and I have a pimply face 236 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,635 and I wet the bed. 237 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,169 And my mom cuts my hair with an axe. 238 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,403 [Thaxton sobbing] 239 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,405 [regular voice] Ah, that was a fun day. 240 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,741 Gilius, this is great. 241 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,743 All you have to do is apologize to Thaxton. 242 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,078 And then he'll put you back in the song. 243 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,446 Bartender, have a bowl 244 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,281 of dried cranberries sent up to my room. 245 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,952 Ah, ah, ah, ah-- freshly dried. 246 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,453 [sighs] 247 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,287 Come on, now's our chance. 248 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,390 [grumbles] 249 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,261 Who says you can't play lute in bed? 250 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,764 Oh, hello, Gilius. You know, 251 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,365 I heard a rumor 252 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,133 that the desert sage turned you down. 253 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,970 [gasps] Oh, I wonder why? 254 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,640 Be-Because of you, you little prick. 255 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,776 Gilius, remember, we're here to apologize. 256 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,111 And then ask very nicely 257 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,814 if Thaxton will stop leaving you out of his song. 258 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,049 Well, I'm not leaving him out 259 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,851 of the song I'm writing right now. 260 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,352 - [sighs] - It's a little ditty 261 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,988 about a dwarf who burned down an orphanage. 262 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,991 Every sage that guards a desert or lake 263 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,458 or even an "archipelawgo" 264 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,994 will know the name Gilius Thunderhead. 265 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,629 In a bad way, just to be clear. 266 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,299 My axe is gonna pelago right up your ass! 267 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,234 HAMPTON: Gilius, no! It's illegal 268 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,468 to put your hands on a bard. 269 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,671 But it's not illegal to do this. 270 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,072 [grunts] 271 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,840 Change your song. 272 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,842 Let me have a crack at him. 273 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,411 Listen up! 274 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,013 Do you have any advice for an aspiring bard? 275 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,582 First of all, stop referring to yourself as "aspiring." 276 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,384 You're either a bard or you're not. 277 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,920 DRUDA: Thank you so much for being so generous 278 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,654 - with your time. - THAXTON: Don't mention it. 279 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,858 Ah, an epic battle. If I hadn't been there myself, 280 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,693 I'd have trouble believing how visually scintillating it was. 281 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,995 Do I know that word? 282 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,164 Anybody need some magic? 283 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,699 Janzu! It's like you can read our minds. 284 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:10,370 Even if I could, I'd never tell. 285 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,705 [all grunting] 286 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:13,841 Oh, yeah. 287 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,442 Oh! I'm gonna give you 288 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,044 the magic. [gasps] 289 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,019 Frizmo, wait. Frizmo! 290 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,289 Who's Bizbo? 291 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,591 ♪ ♪ 292 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,202 So, who did you fight today, Papa? 293 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,305 Um... Gildra. The... 294 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:49,376 - swamp hag. - Oh, she sounds scary! 295 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,687 [grunts] 296 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:01,721 JANZU: Frizmo, please. 297 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,223 Just let me explain. 298 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,591 What's there to explain? 299 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,626 That you go out there in your little blue pajamas 300 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,261 and let people beat on you? 301 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,397 Why don't you fight back? 302 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,233 Fight back! Fight back! 303 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,435 Fight back. 304 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,670 - [clattering] - GILIUS: Thaxton! 305 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,173 I am going to crunch your face in! 306 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,276 You know it's against the law to touch me. 307 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,677 - [grunts] - Heavens! 308 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,612 Only if there are witnesses. 309 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:27,414 - [whimpers] - Either you 310 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,748 change your little song 311 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,350 or I change that little 312 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,919 - dainty face of yours. - [vocalizing whimper] 313 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,653 BARTNEDER: Cranberry delivery. 314 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,822 Got a taste for cranberries! 315 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,455 Aah! Freshly dried. 316 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,658 - [exclaims] - Get back here! 317 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,626 Help! The great bard Thaxton 318 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,629 is being chased by a dwarf most foul! 319 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,798 Ready to sing your last song, Thaxton? 320 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,500 Tell me how it goes! 321 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,303 Oh, "blub, blub, blub"? 322 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,473 Oh, I think we got a hit on our hands here, folks. 323 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,142 - Aah! - [gasps] 324 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,144 You're under arrest for assaulting a bard. 325 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,779 A crime punishable by a hefty fine. 326 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,214 - [whispering] - What's that? 327 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,648 The punishment got upgraded? 328 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,016 To death, you say? 329 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,118 Oh, he's not gonna like that. Okay, so-- 330 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,358 We'll get you out of there, Gilius! 331 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,327 We're gonna say that you're our grandpa and that you went crazy. 332 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,528 People will believe it when they see you. 333 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,730 [grumbles] 334 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,703 Who here is ready to witness the most bloody of justice 335 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,538 be served upon this dwarf's head? 336 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:27,707 [cheering] 337 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,943 Great, great. Uh, this is great. 338 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,879 Uh, little bit of housekeeping up top. 339 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,913 We have some special guests here. 340 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,683 The graduating class of Thaxton's Barding Fellowship. 341 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,919 Take a bow. 342 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,154 Thaxton runs a fellowship for bards? 343 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,722 Maybe I could join that. 344 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,892 [gasps] I'm gonna go see if they have any pamphlets. 345 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,527 Listen, before we begin, I got some bad news. 346 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,696 I'm talking to the high priestess earlier. 347 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,899 She thinks it's a better idea to do this at night. 348 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,902 - [crowd groans] - I know, I know, I know. 349 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,704 Something about the harvest and the moon. 350 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,039 I'm just the messenger. 351 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,541 I'll tell you what. Let's have some fun. 352 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,911 Who here has been married for five years? 353 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,079 Hands up, let me see. Wow! 354 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,982 Look at you g-- That's a lot of people. 355 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,751 - Dear gods, just kill me. - How do you do it? 356 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,054 ♪ ♪ 357 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,923 [sighs] Frizmo hates me. 358 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,091 He doesn't hate you. 359 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,727 He's just confused. 360 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,662 And frankly, so am I. 361 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,531 You used to be proud of your work. 362 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,598 You used to say it was important. 363 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:30,570 It is. But how do you explain that to a kid? 364 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,940 Maybe instead of explaining it to them 365 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,808 you can show them. 366 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,346 Can I ask you something? 367 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,614 Why do they have to hit you? 368 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,953 It's... it's to get the potions. 369 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,788 Hey kids, I need to show you something. 370 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,590 [scoffs] 371 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,492 Frizmo, please. 372 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,932 Okay, let's try going to married 373 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:02,602 for 4,265 years? 374 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,104 Wow. 375 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,639 4,265 years-- 376 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,641 what anniversary is that? 377 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,944 Rock. 378 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,379 Oh, look at that, folks! 379 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,614 The sun is officially down. 380 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,483 Let's cut off this guy's head! 381 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,019 [cheering] 382 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,954 Aw, rats. I had all this time 383 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,821 to come up with a plan and I did nothing. 384 00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,656 Hampton, you need to see this. 385 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,059 - Thaxton's notebook. - Yeah. 386 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,794 I thought it was a pamphlet for his fellowship, 387 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:30,162 but then I realized it was his songbook. 388 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,232 You got to see what's inside. 389 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,832 - [crowd exclaiming] - Folks, anybody 390 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,335 want to keep the head? But I got to warn you, 391 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,638 he smells terrible. 392 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,840 Just so you know, it's nothing personal. 393 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,410 I've seen you fight, you're a wonderful battle dwarf. 394 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,512 I got nothing but respect for you. 395 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,814 Hold it. Stop the trial! 396 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,849 This isn't a trial. It's an execution. 397 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:54,053 Oh, right, you're executing my friend 398 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,356 for attacking your beloved bard, Thaxton. 399 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,524 Well, I have his notebook, 400 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,827 and once you hear the contents, 401 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:04,031 he won't be beloved, he'll be behated. 402 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:04,998 [grunts] 403 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,533 Uh... [chuckles weakly] 404 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,001 Come, now, boy. 405 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:11,038 He's hard at work on a lot of new music. 406 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,840 I mean, this thing is filled to the brim with songs. 407 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,342 - And guess what? - THAXTON: Hand it back. 408 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,045 They're songs about each and every one of you... 409 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,211 [crowd gasps] 410 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,281 ...and how much he hates you. 411 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,549 - [crowd exclaims] - THAXTON: All right, okay, 412 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,219 that's enough. [grunting] 413 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,887 Give me that. 414 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,023 They're just songs. Who cares? 415 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,224 Music has power. 416 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,560 His ruined Gilius' reputation 417 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,229 and eventually it'll ruin yours. 418 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,564 Unless we stop him. 419 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,567 Oh, what could any of you pathetic simpletons do 420 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,070 - to stop me? - [crowd gasps] 421 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,239 I'm the rich and regionally famous Thaxton. 422 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,641 And you're just a bunch of piggies 423 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,277 who are privileged 424 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,612 to slop up my genius. 425 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,047 - [crowd laughs] - An unprovoked assault 426 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,250 on a bard?! And by such clichéd means. 427 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,385 Bards, 428 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,720 - ♪ To me! ♪ - [crowd gasps] 429 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,123 Look out, Hampton, they're gonna play music at us! 430 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,930 Hang on. I got a knife in here, just give me a second. 431 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,201 - ♪ Charge! ♪ - [crowd screaming] 432 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,237 Whoa... Oh! 433 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,039 - [chuckles] - [shouts] 434 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,110 [shouting, vocalizing] 435 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,778 [grunts] Aah! 436 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,114 [grunts] 437 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,417 Look, kids, the mighty Gilius Thunderhead is in trouble 438 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,784 - and he needs my help. - Whoa! 439 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,254 Are you gonna kill all those bad guys 440 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,588 with your ninja attacks? 441 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,357 [scoffs] Yeah, right. 442 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,426 He's just gonna go out there and get beat up on purpose 443 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,626 like a total weirdo. 444 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,294 Don't make up lies about Papa. 445 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,764 - Frizmo isn't lying, Trix. - [screams] 446 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,133 But I have been. 447 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,301 I brought you both here to tell you the truth: 448 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,137 I'm not a mighty warrior, 449 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,305 but what I do helps the people who are. 450 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,974 I'm not embarrassed of who I am, I'm proud of it. 451 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,709 And hopefully, after you see this, 452 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,278 you will be, too. 453 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,946 - [giggles] - Janzu! 454 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,881 Looks like someone needs some potions. 455 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,916 And I've got a juicy rump to kick. 456 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,652 Great, sure, whatever. I'm pretty tied up, 457 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,820 but if you get by my feet I can probably give you a kick. 458 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,322 Ooh, give me a kick! You know you want it. 459 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,624 Who's got the magic? 460 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,193 Janzu's got the magic! 461 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,696 [moans] 462 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,133 Janzu, you're my hero. 463 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,303 Thunder magic! 464 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,274 - [giggling] - [whooping] 465 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,942 - Yes! - Yeah! 466 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,512 All right, now, listen. 467 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,148 I could kill all you fancy bards right now, 468 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,484 but I'm not going to because I'm a hero 469 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,386 and I live by a code. 470 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,853 Now, Thaxton, I know that what I did years ago was wrong, 471 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,689 and for that, uh... 472 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,023 I'm sorry. 473 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,493 Apology... 474 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,994 not accepted. 475 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,362 You see, Hampton? That's what apologies get you. 476 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,529 Plan B. 477 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,700 All you bards get out of town 478 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,702 and leave these poor people alone. 479 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,370 They liked you, Thaxton, they trusted you, 480 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,340 and you treated them like dirt. 481 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,675 So, you know what, maybe I'm not better than you, 482 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,612 but they certainly are. 483 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,914 Fine, I'll leave. 484 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,849 But under one condition. 485 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,851 No conditions. I'll kill you. 486 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,920 Yep, guess I better hit the road, then. 487 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,622 ♪ Come, bards! ♪ 488 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,862 Ho, there, Gilius. 489 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,397 Boy. Skeleton. 490 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,965 Well, it's a shame we weren't able 491 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,734 to fix things with the sage. 492 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,435 I guess we're going around the desert. 493 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:32,739 Hold on. Druda and I might have solved that problem. 494 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,074 Gods, what have you two done now? 495 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,244 Last night I wrote my very first song. I'm officially 496 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,612 - ♪ a bard. ♪ - We wrote a song. 497 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,883 You're not getting all the credit for this one, Druds. 498 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,886 It's a pretty good song. 499 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,288 [clears throat] And now, 500 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,089 if you'll please address your attention 501 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,924 to the smoky part of town square, 502 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,128 the Kesterton Children's Choir. 503 00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:00,767 ♪ This is a song about Gilius Thunderhead ♪ 504 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,970 ♪ He fights with his brains and his fists and his axe ♪ 505 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,173 ♪ He taught me, I mean, Hampton ♪ 506 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,442 ♪ How to quest ♪ 507 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,911 ♪ He taught Hampton which berries were good ♪ 508 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,947 ♪ And which berries were bad ♪ 509 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,117 ♪ He uses magic like lightning ♪ 510 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,119 ♪ Which is also good ♪ 511 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,288 ♪ How does it work? ♪ 512 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,089 ♪ I'm not really sure ♪ 513 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,757 ♪ In conclusion ♪ 514 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:28,127 ♪ Gilius is Hampton's friend ♪ 515 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,430 ♪ And a hero to all of ♪ 516 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:34,367 ♪ Yuria. ♪ 517 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,802 Hampton, this song 518 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,937 is ter-terrible, and you-you and Druda 519 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:41,139 should never write together aga-again. 520 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,477 Ooh, ooh! I'm Papa. Kick me, Gilius. 521 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:48,146 - It's my turn to be Dad. - You just got to be Dad, stupid. 522 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,816 Don't, don't, don't! 523 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,951 Look at that-- you're their hero. 524 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,653 How did I get so lucky? 525 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,955 Hey, tonight, after the kids go to bed, 526 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,156 maybe I could hit you? 527 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:01,127 - Janzu! - [grunts] 528 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:02,462 Oh! [groaning] 529 00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,163 - Whoa, you know Chronos? - Cool! 530 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,722 MAN: Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! 531 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,725 Chirp. 532 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,195 [production theme]